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The Rainbow Clause:
Giving us the right to choose who; where; when; why; and how.
Gender vs. Sexuality: Common Misconceptions
One of the most common misconceptions people
have when they hear GLBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender) is that gender
and sexuality are interchangeable terms. In fact, I've found that even within
the GLBT community this can be misunderstood. People often understand what
the G, L, and B are but have no idea where the T fits in. Perhaps that is
why, when discussing the gay community, the Q (Queer) has been added to the
letters on occasion, since it is an all encompassing umbrella term, to fit
anyone that does not solidly fit into the GLB or T groups.
To the straight community gender is cut a dry.
A female is a female and a male is a male. To the GLBT community that isn't
always the case. We have the transsexuals, cross-dressers, drag queens and
kings, and of course what the T stands for the FTM and MTF transgendered
individuals.
Those of you who are saying 'but I'm just gay,
or lesbian, I have no idea what all those other things mean' or, 'why they
are even included in GLBT', should understand that there is a place for every
one of these individuals. I don't think it should be the policy of the GLBT
community to start discriminating too much. However, understanding our community
is important to experiencing true diversity… because each of us is different
and unique in our own way.
Webster's online dictionary defines gender as,
'the behavioral, cultural, or psychological traits typically associated with
one sex'. This is quite a broad definition and is different than the majority
of our society's perspectives of what gender is. If you were to ask men (gay
or straight) what makes the 'male' gender the vast majority of them would
answer a penis.
Similarly, if you were to ask a woman what makes
the 'female' gender, while they might touch on femininity, they would most
likely say a body that has reproduction organs and breasts to feed their
offspring. Of course, not all women with reproduction organs can reproduce,
and not all women still have their reproduction organs, so this may be an
inaccurate generalization of the female gender.
Back at Webster's we find that a male is, 'a
: a male person : a man or a boy b : an individual that produces small usually
motile gametes (as spermatozoa or spermatozoids) which fertilize the eggs
of a female'. While the first definition of a male is vague, and could be
considered acceptable within the GLBT definition, the second is not a viable
definition since not all males can produce sperm. Men that are sterile cannot.
Men over a certain age may not be able to fertilize eggs either, so by now
you are slowly being able to see that 'gender' is a relative term.
Now, at Webster's we find a female is, 'a :
a female person : a woman or a girl b : an individual that bears young or
produces large usually immobile gametes (as eggs) that are fertilized by
small usually motile gametes of a male'. We can argue the same points about
women because some women do not produce eggs or have other issues that prevent
them from having children. So, where does that leave gender in terms of the
GLBT community where these profiles simply do not fit? Also, is a woman any
less a woman because she cannot have children?
Back to the original definition of gender, we
must consider that those who are transgendered feel a psychological and
behavioral connection with a certain gender. An FTM (Female to Male)
Transgendered person is only truly FTM until they take the steps to legally
and physically become male. Rather then FTM these men identify simply as
men. The same is true for MTF (Male to Female) individuals.
Does this make them any less male or female
because they were born a different gender? This is a matter of perception.
For those of us in the GLBT community it is wise to say it doesn't. It should
not make a difference at all. No one, who does not truly feel their gender,
would subject themselves to going through as many surgeries, hormone therapy,
discrimination, hate, and misunderstanding - as well as all the legal obstacles
involved when changing their name and their gender on their birth certificate,
state ID, drivers license, passport, Social Security Card, etc. - if they
did not truly feel that gender. (And we didn't even mention on the financial
cost of such a change.)
Now that we have a more solid understanding
of gender, where does sexuality come into the picture? Sexuality is completely
different from gender. People do not get this and that is why parents or
other relatives often ask their children who come out if they are going to
have a sex change because they are gay.
Webster's defines sexuality as, 'the state of
being sexual'. This definition fits nicely because it leaves it open. It
says you are sexual. However, sexuality reflects upon whom you are sexual
with and that is where sexual orientation comes into play. Your sexual
orientation is what sex you identify with when having a sexual relationship.
Being gay, straight, bisexual, or a lesbian
is what your sexual orientation is. Being male or female is your gender.
For example, I know an FTM who is married to a woman. He identifies as a
straight male as a result. I also know a biological female who has a female
partner and she identifies as a female lesbian. It's not a hard concept to
follow. The main problem is ignorance.
People do not understand gender, or sexuality,
so they just want to lump them all together. That is illogical and just creates
more misconceptions and insecurity for anyone in the GLBT (gay, lesbian,
bisexual, transgender) community. In the end, is it is up to us to choose
whether to inform these individuals what the differences between gender and
sexuality really are, or let them go on believing what they do because it
isn't our place to rock the boat?
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