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The Rainbow Clause:
Giving us the right to choose who; where; when; why; and how.
The Modern Face of Commitment
How gay and lesbian couples can protect their
relationship and gain recognition under the law
In the United States today, 39 states have laws
that specifically define marriage as a union between one man and one woman.
Even states such as Massachusetts, which allows gay and lesbian marriage,
and Vermont, which allows civil unions, have restrictions on the number of
rights afforded same-sex couples. Great strides have been made in the fight
to legalize gay and lesbian marriage in the U.S., but victory may be many
years ahead of us. In the meantime, there are steps that you and your partner
can take to ensure that your relationship will be protected by law.
Domestic Partnerships
More than 50 U.S. cities and counties have domestic
partnership registries. These vary greatly from city to city; some are simply
a way for same-sex couples and unmarried straight couples to register their
partnership with their municipality, others make partners eligible for certain
benefits. A growing trend among businesses is to offer domestic partnership
benefits, giving the same-sex partners of their employees health insurance
and allowing bereavement and family leave time when the non-employee partner
experiences an illness or death in the family. If your employer does not
offer domestic partnership benefits but does have a policy forbidding harassment
or discrimination against gay and lesbian employees, then you may have a
good foundation from which to request the institution of these benefits.
After all, by not offering their gay employees the same benefits as their
straight employees, companies are in effect breaking their own rule.
While registering your domestic partnership
will not make you eligible for the same rights enjoyed by legally married
couples, it does send a clear message that you expect your relationship to
be treated with respect. It is also a way for couples to express their commitment
to each other when they are unable to be married in their state.
Preparing for Death and Illness
Married straight couples often take their rights
for granted. Once the ink has dried on their marriage certificates, they
are automatically considered each others' next of kin. They are allowed to
make medical decisions and funeral arrangements for each other, and in most
cases, they automatically inherit money and property. For gay and lesbian
couples, this is not the case, and it is important that you make arrangements
early on so that your partner is protected.
Under the counsel of an attorney, same-sex couples
can establish living wills, health care proxies, hospital visitation
authorizations and other legal documents that will provide them with many
of the rights typically given to married couples. These legally binding
agreements will almost always be recognized by the court and will prevent
you or your partner from being locked out of important end-of-life and
health-related decisions. To find an attorney in your area who can help you
to prepare these materials, visit
www.hrc.org or
www.nlgla.org.
Unfortunately, there are few laws in place that
fully protect gay and lesbian couples. Regardless of what legal action they
have taken, gay and lesbian couples never fully receive the same set of rights
that their straight peers do. Domestic partnerships and other efforts to
legitimize gay relationships are a step in the right direction, however;
they set a legal precedence and show courts that the United States boasts
a large and politically-active gay and lesbian community. As same-sex couples
continue to show their desire for recognition under the law, our legal system
will have to acknowledge that a significant portion of our society is being
underrepresented. Until then, taking steps such as the ones described here
will help you to gain some of the rights you and your partner deserve.
For
more information on gay and lesbian marriage, please read our guide:
Same-Sex
Wedding Planner & Guide
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