RC
Articles
BB Network
BB eBooks
Lifted Hearts Links
NetworkOur
eBooks
Female to Female: The Ultimate
Guide to Lesbian Sex
Man to Man: The Ultimate
Guide to Gay Sex
Cunnilingus Academy: Curl her toes
with these tips and techniques
The Big eBook
of Gay and Lesbian Poetry
The Gay Man's Guide
to Getting Laid
How to Have a Successful
Same-Sex Relationship
Proud
member of
the
Network |
- |
The Rainbow Clause:
Giving us the right to choose who; where; when; why; and how.
'Til Death Do Us Part
With few states recognizing gay marriage,
will your partner be allowed to make end-of-life
decisions for you?
It is easy for us to put off the subject of
wills and health care proxies. We don't want to think about losing someone
we love, and none of us wants to dwell on our own eventual deaths. The fact
remains, though, that death is inevitable. Accidents and illness do happen.
And for gay and lesbian couples, end of life brings with it more than just
funeral arrangements and lingering hospital bills.
When straight married couples experience death
or illness, they are automatically recognized as each other's legal spokesperson.
A wife can make medical decisions for her husband, is entirely responsible
for his funeral arrangements, and in most cases is uncontested in receiving
his life insurance, their home, and all of their possessions. But when gay
couples experience death or illness, one partner often finds him or herself
completely locked out of the other's life - in many cases, unable to visit
their sick and dying spouse in the hospital! The law is on the side of legally
married couples, and for the time being, most states do not recognize gay
couples as such. That is why it is vital that gay and lesbian couples make
the necessary legal arrangements to provide for each other while both are
still in good health.
Who Will Speak For You?
In the event that you are injured, or fall ill,
and are unable to make your own decisions regarding medical care, this
responsibility falls to your next of kin. By law, next of kin is your spouse;
however, if your partner is not legally recognized as a spouse, then next
of kin falls to your parents, your siblings, or other family members. If
you would prefer your partner to be in charge of your care, you need to say
so now.
To do this, you will need to establish a power
of attorney. This legal document, prepared by a lawyer, indicates the person
you wish to be your decision-maker in situations where you cannot speak for
yourself. You can make this document as detailed or as broad as your needs
require; for instance, you could give your partner the right to speak for
you only in situations regarding health care. A power of attorney that
specifically refers to medical care is often called a health care proxy.
You may be able to get the necessary forms to establish a health care proxy
from your doctor or other health care provider.
Other precautions to consider include the creation
of a living will, which indicates whether or not you wish to be kept alive
through life support, and a hospital visitation authorization, which includes
your partner in the list of "immediate family" allowed to visit you in the
hospital. If you have a hospital visitation authorization, you and your partner
should each carry it with you at all times. This ensures that should one
of you be hospitalized unexpectedly, the other will be able to present
documentation allowing him or her to come with you into your hospital room.
Your Estate and
Final Arrangements
There are several ways to make it clear that
you wish your possessions to pass to your partner upon your death. The most
obvious, of course, is to have a will.
Preparing a will gives you the opportunity to
state exactly how you would like your assets to be handled after you die.
You can give everything to your partner, or you can divide your finances
and possessions among various friends and family members. You can also dictate
how you would like to be laid to rest including where you would like to be
buried and the type of funeral service you'd like to have. If all of these
things are not spelled out in a legally binding will, your assets will be
divided up among your living family members, regardless of whether or not
you are even in contact with them. Your partner may get no say at all in
the way your funeral is arranged.
It is also important to consider end-of-life
issues when purchasing property together. Your names should appear on your
deed as Joint Tenants with Right of Survivorship. This means that upon one
partner's death, the property will pass in its entirety to the surviving
partner. Another common option used on deeds is that of Tenants in Common,
which only gives each partner 50% of the property. If one partner dies and
his or her will does not stipulate that their half of the house pass to their
partner, it will pass to their surviving family members. This means that
if you pass away, your partner will be left only owning half of the house,
and will need the consent of your family members before selling it or remodeling
it.
Resources for Gay Couples
The best place to start in determining how your
final wishes will be observed is in an attorney's office. To find an attorney
who is supportive of the rights of gay and lesbian couples, you may try visiting
the Human Rights Campaign's Guide to Attorney Referral Services (available
at www.hrc.org) or the National Lesbian
and Gay Law Association (www.nlgla.org).
Someday, gay and lesbian couples will be afforded the right to legally marry,
thereby winning the right to care for each other in sickness and in health.
Until then, we can only be proactive in obtaining these rights for ourselves
and for our partners.
For
more information on gay and lesbian marriage, please read our guide:
Same-Sex
Wedding Planner & Guide
Back
to Articles |
